In my last post, I mentioned that in Year 2 of “The Healing Project,” I will share insights from a variety of spiritual and personal development teachers. One amazing woman who has fulfilled the role of teacher for many of us for 25 years is Oprah Winfrey.
On May 25, 2011, the final Oprah Winfrey Show aired. Unlike all of her other shows, this show did not include any guests. It was just Oprah on stage sharing the lessons she’s learned over the years and imparting some final insights to her audience.
I recently watched this episode and feverishly took notes as I watched, periodically pausing my DVR so that I could capture as many of Oprah’s parting words of wisdom as possible. In this post, I will share what I believe were the most important lessons presented by Oprah in her final show. In the coming weeks and months, I will expand upon some of these topics and share how they relate to my personal healing journey.
The five key lessons from Oprah’s final show are taken from the notes I took while watching the show. The words are Oprah’s, but the paraphrasing is mine. I welcome any comments or feedback you have on the insights shared by Oprah.
Everyone Has a Calling and a “Platform”
Every day that Oprah stood on stage, she knew it was exactly where she was supposed to be. She never missed a day in 25 years because she knew the audience was there and because her show was what she was called to do.
We are all “called.” Our real job in life is to figure out what our calling is and to get about the business of doing it. A calling lights you up and lets you know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing. Our calling does not have to be something for which we are paid and it doesn’t have to make us famous.
Each one of us also has our own platform, like Oprah’s show was for her. Our platform is wherever we are, with our own reach, however small or however large. We all have our own “circle of influence,” and this is where our power lies. We all have the power to change someone’s life!
Nobody But You is Responsible for Your Life
We are all responsible for the energy that we create for ourselves and for the energy that we bring to others. Like Newton stated in his Third Law of Motion, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”
Oprah showed a scene from “The Color Purple” which illustrated what she termed “the Golden Rule to the Tenth Power.” The character Celia, played by Whoopi Goldberg, was leaving her abusive husband and he tried to intimidate her to get her to stay. As she walked away, he raised his hand to strike her. She held her hand up and said,
Everything you’ve done to me, you’ve already done to you.”
What we put out into the world, positive or negative, comes back to us, often to a greater magnitude than we originally put out.
Don’t wait for someone else to fix you, save you, or complete you. When we understand that we are responsible for our lives, everything changes. We become free!
Unworthiness is the Common Thread
Through the years on her show, Oprah spoke to a lot of people who were suffering in a multitude of ways. What she learned is that the common thread that runs through almost all suffering is unworthiness, not feeling worthy enough to own the life that we were created for. We often block our own blessings because we don’t feel inherently good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or worthy enough.
There is a difference between thinking that you deserve to be happy and knowing that you are worthy of happiness. You are worthy because you were born and because you are here. Your being alive makes worthiness your birthright. You alone are enough!
We All Want Validation
Oprah talked to over 30,000 people during the 25 years of her show. She believes that all of these people had one thing in common; they all wanted validation. Every person you will ever meet shares that common desire. They all want to know,
Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?”
Understanding that everyone wants to be heard has helped Oprah to be less judgmental, and this knowledge can help us in the same way.
Validate others in your life. Let them know, “I see you, I hear you, and what you say matters to me.” Validating our friends and families will go a long way toward improving all of our interpersonal relationships.
Your Life is Speaking to You
Toward the end of Oprah’s final show, she turned her attention more to the realm of the spiritual. She spoke of God and how she has felt a voice bigger than herself speaking to her all of her life. She told us that we all have a voice inside of ourselves that provides us with guidance, if we are willing to be still and listen. Those who are religious or spiritual may call this voice “God”; others may call it their conscience, inner self, or higher self. The name isn’t nearly as important as the message.
Our lives are always speaking to us, first in subtle whispers like “Hmm, that’s odd” or “Hmm, is that right?” If we don’t pay attention to the whispers, the message gets louder and louder, like being thumped upside the head. If we don’t pay attention to those messages, it’s like a brick wall upside the head, and then the whole brick wall falls down!
Your life is speaking to you – what is it saying? Ask yourself,
What are the whispers in my life right now? What’s whispering to me, and will I hear it?”
Final Message
For Oprah, her audience has been a “safe harbor” for 25 years. What she hopes is that we all will be a safe harbor for someone, their soft place to fall. She asks that we do for them what the Oprah Winfrey Show has done for us.
Connect, embrace, liberate; love somebody, just one person. Then spread that to two and as many as you can, and see what a difference it makes.” – Oprah
I could have written much more than I wrote above. I took nine pages of notes while watching Oprah’s final show! While my notes cannot possibly convey the full experience of having watched the show, I hope they have provided some value for those who did not watch, as well as some reminders for those who did watch. I intend to watch the episode again and further explore how Oprah’s lessons relate to me and my life.
I wish Oprah the very best in her new ventures! I’m sure she will continue to serve as a teacher to many and shine more of her light upon the world.
Dear Debbie, a member of our Selling The World Network found your blog and commented this post on our site. It resulted in a very powerful and inspirational post itself… and it ends with these words: “Thanks Oprah. Thanks Debbie”. I already expressed my gratitude to Ben (the author of the post), but I wanted to say thanks directly to you. It was a great job resuming these five lessons for the world… and keep writing: it’s really beatiful what you have to say. Best luck! Dr.Manuel Tejeda, Ph.D. CEO SellingTheWorld.org.
The lesson I’ve learned from Oprah is that you can spend a lifetime & become VERY wealthy by healing & helping others and still remain unhealed yourself. Her weight issues are the same, no children, no balande between work & leisure, does not seem to have chosen a man of her own stature et c…
The Wounded Healer is a transitory archetype, which shows that the magnitude of how hard you try to heal others, is how much you need to heal yourself. But unless you withdraw that projection, you can never become whole. The end result is not the Wounded healer (Christ on The Cross f ex) but the one who takes care, is resurrected and whole.
She can have healed millions, yet subconsciously given a signal of codependence.
Sophia